Holding Doors

Holding Doors was a sign of chivalry and overall kindness, but in the past decades it has turned into a social convention that frequently creates awkward situations. For most, it’s not a hard task but for some reason, many people choose to abstain from partaking in this generous deed.

The song in the Soundclick widget above breaks it down for you lyrically.

The problem at hand is that people often have trouble assessing the situation. The key factor to analyze is distance and speed. It’s the same with driving; if someone is a specific distance away and traveling at a certain speed, it may be unsafe to try to pull into traffic.

In every door holding scenario there is a holder and a holdee (sometimes multiple). There is always a moment of initial contact, which in some cases, can be a point of no return. When you acknowledge and/or presume that the approaching person is indeed planning on entering the same door as you, there is often a moment where the two potential holders make eye contact.

This non-verbal communication initiates a competition that, under certain circumstances, will cause the other person to speed up or slow down their stride in order to have you hold the door for them.

In my time as a student at Full Sail University, I’ve been put in many situations where I have:

·      Awkwardly waited for someone to reach the door while I hold it open

·      Been stuck holding the door for a group of people because none of them take it from me.

·      Slowed down so the other person would hold the door for me.

·      Walked faster to avoid a door holding situation

·      Simply avoided eye contact with possible holdees (as not to feel guilty if I failed to hold the door)

·      Had times where the holdees where thankless

·      Had the holdees slightly push the door as I’m holding it (implying that my effort wasn’t sufficient)

All of the above scenarios can be avoided with practice and proper assessment techniques.

Below is a crude chart I have compiled in order to demonstrate the proper distance someone must be in order for you to hold the door for them.

The further someone is from the door while you hold it, the more creepy and awkward you appear.

1: In the ORANGE Zone, holding the door is basically mandatory. If you were to let the door shut on someone while they were in the orange zone, you would appear cruel and/or oblivious.

2: In the YELLOW Zone, it shouldn’t take the holdee too long to reach the door. At that distance, they should be able to see you holding the door for them and adjust their speed accordingly. If you haven’t made eye contact or acknowledged them, it’s not entirely inappropriate to let the door close.

3: In the PURPLE Zone, holding the door for someone (of either gender) is a tad iffy. You are essentially forcing the holdee to speed up over a longer distance than in previous zones. Letting the door close is acceptable, and if you haven’t made eye contact, the door may still be open slightly by the time they reach the door.

4: In the TEAL Zone, you just look sketchy holding the door (especially for a female, it may come off as desperate). If you are the holder, this zone is reserved for three kinds of holdees: the elderly, the handicapped, people with their hands full, and exceptionally good-looking people.

5: In the BLUE Zone, it’s just plain CREEPY to hold the door for anyone (excluding the aforementioned exceptions). By the time the holdee reaches the door, they feel as though your gesture went beyond friendly. When holding the door for a complete stranger for that long of a time, there’s no way to avoid communication and the holdee knows that. Avoid holdees in the Blue Zone at all costs.

So now that you have some door holding knowledge, you should be able to successfully assess any and all situations that could lead to awkward tension. Utilize both the chart, the song, and the breakdown of the chart to your advantage in order to keep awkwardness at bay.

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Lyrics to "Holding Doors"

Everyday

No matter who you are

Or where you’re going

There’s always something in your way

(Verse)

Used to be

Chivalrous/now an obli-friggin-gation

Holding doors leads to awkward situations

Depending on the other persons vicinity

Determines how fast you walk at a given speed

You can slow up/and they’ll hold it fa-yew

But if you both approach/you don’t know what to do

Don’t look back/…. no remorse

When you let it go or close the doors

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but what do you do when it comes to chicks

Don’t hold the door if they’re under a six

Sad/but true/Unless they’re old

You’ll be waiting forever kuz they’re extra slow

If the person is holding something….you can

Hold the door/if it requires two hands

If I don’t hold the door for ya/don’t be mad at me

Kuz I prefer doors that open Automatically

Really…I mean

Why don’t they have automatic doors in every building?

Wouldn’t it make life so much easier for everyone?

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What about when

there’s double doors

and you hold one door

and the person u hold it for goes out the other door?

hahahha

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that’s funny to me

but what’s even funnier

is they’re walking parallel to the door

and you go out of your way to hold it

and they aren’t even going in the same building as you

hahaha

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I could go on and on

but i won't