Daps Elapse

In most cultures, humans exchange salutations upon arrival and departure. But how much time must pass in order for a ‘Hello’ and a ‘Goodbye’ to be bundled into one handshake? (Or in this case: dap)

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term 'Daps', it can be defined as a lazy and informal version of a handshake often utilized in social settings.

Back to DAPS ELAPSE

I’ve come up with a term to use when not enough time has passed between salutations.

For Example: If you pass someone that you know in the halls of your school and you have a brief interaction (one to two minutes) that is initiated with a handshake of sorts, giving daps again at the end of the conversation seems silly doesn’t it?

The chart below is an illustration of a crucial factor to consider when to give daps: 

Time Between Salutations vs. Appropriateness

Aside from time, you also have to factor in the next time you’re going to see this person and how long it has been since you’ve seen them.

Let’s Say: You’re at the mall and you come across someone from middle school that you haven’t seen in at least 5 years. You both are surprised and excited to see each other. You exchange pleasantries for a couple moments and then you both continue your individual journeys through the mall.

It’s okay to give this person daps.

For three reasons: 

• You haven’t seen this person in a long time.
• You’ve known them for quite some time.
• You might not see them in a while.

Another Example:

You and a friend are hanging out before you both go to a party. It’s time to head out, so you both walk down to your cars. The destination is not too far, but you each take your own car. You don’t need to give them ‘good bye’ daps because: you’re both going to the same place and will see each other in a matter of minutes.  

I hope you may now have some insight on when to give daps and when to let it go.

But if you’re feeling hesitant about the second salutation, my motto is:

When in doubt, Fist-Bump it out.

In addition to the chart above, there is also a song in the Soundclick widget at the top of the page that goes along with the topic at hand (Pun Intended)

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Here are the lyrics:

Here’s the situation/you’re hangin wit friends

Something comes up to bring the Day to an end

You’re young and hip: so handshakes are never fun

Before you leave/you give daps to everyone

Next thing you know/you’re almost home

And Then you realize “I forgot your phone”

So five minutes after you left//you’re back

Grab you’re phone/and leave/but what about daps?

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How much time must go by before

You can skip the daps and slide out the door

Twice in a short time/Can’t Stand that Stuff

C’mon man/Our hands just touched

There’s a certain grace period/if you breach it

I’ma just leave and say “Peace kid”

If not enough times Happens to pass

Between hand shakes/call it ‘Daps Elapse’

 

Curb Your Enthusiasm Clip:

Larry: “Okay, we’re gonna take off. Goodbye”

Crowd: “Nice to meet you. Nice meeting you. Bye”

Larry: “Nice to meet YOU”

Cheryl (Larry’s Wife): Well, go back there and get it

Larry: “Oh no, c’mon. Don’t send me back there, please.

Now you want me to go in and do the double goodbye?”

Cheryl: “Just go back in, it’ll take three minutes”

Larry: “It’s so AWKWARD”

Cheryl: “This is stupid. Just GO!”

That’s a clip from one of my favorite shows: Curb your Enthusiasm

See, Larry David knows how awkward it is to do the double good bye

Now, Daps Elapse is just a term I say to people when I feel that not enough time has gone by between our salutations

You should try it out with your friends

Holding Doors

Holding Doors was a sign of chivalry and overall kindness, but in the past decades it has turned into a social convention that frequently creates awkward situations. For most, it’s not a hard task but for some reason, many people choose to abstain from partaking in this generous deed.

The song in the Soundclick widget above breaks it down for you lyrically.

The problem at hand is that people often have trouble assessing the situation. The key factor to analyze is distance and speed. It’s the same with driving; if someone is a specific distance away and traveling at a certain speed, it may be unsafe to try to pull into traffic.

In every door holding scenario there is a holder and a holdee (sometimes multiple). There is always a moment of initial contact, which in some cases, can be a point of no return. When you acknowledge and/or presume that the approaching person is indeed planning on entering the same door as you, there is often a moment where the two potential holders make eye contact.

This non-verbal communication initiates a competition that, under certain circumstances, will cause the other person to speed up or slow down their stride in order to have you hold the door for them.

In my time as a student at Full Sail University, I’ve been put in many situations where I have:

·      Awkwardly waited for someone to reach the door while I hold it open

·      Been stuck holding the door for a group of people because none of them take it from me.

·      Slowed down so the other person would hold the door for me.

·      Walked faster to avoid a door holding situation

·      Simply avoided eye contact with possible holdees (as not to feel guilty if I failed to hold the door)

·      Had times where the holdees where thankless

·      Had the holdees slightly push the door as I’m holding it (implying that my effort wasn’t sufficient)

All of the above scenarios can be avoided with practice and proper assessment techniques.

Below is a crude chart I have compiled in order to demonstrate the proper distance someone must be in order for you to hold the door for them.

The further someone is from the door while you hold it, the more creepy and awkward you appear.

1: In the ORANGE Zone, holding the door is basically mandatory. If you were to let the door shut on someone while they were in the orange zone, you would appear cruel and/or oblivious.

2: In the YELLOW Zone, it shouldn’t take the holdee too long to reach the door. At that distance, they should be able to see you holding the door for them and adjust their speed accordingly. If you haven’t made eye contact or acknowledged them, it’s not entirely inappropriate to let the door close.

3: In the PURPLE Zone, holding the door for someone (of either gender) is a tad iffy. You are essentially forcing the holdee to speed up over a longer distance than in previous zones. Letting the door close is acceptable, and if you haven’t made eye contact, the door may still be open slightly by the time they reach the door.

4: In the TEAL Zone, you just look sketchy holding the door (especially for a female, it may come off as desperate). If you are the holder, this zone is reserved for three kinds of holdees: the elderly, the handicapped, people with their hands full, and exceptionally good-looking people.

5: In the BLUE Zone, it’s just plain CREEPY to hold the door for anyone (excluding the aforementioned exceptions). By the time the holdee reaches the door, they feel as though your gesture went beyond friendly. When holding the door for a complete stranger for that long of a time, there’s no way to avoid communication and the holdee knows that. Avoid holdees in the Blue Zone at all costs.

So now that you have some door holding knowledge, you should be able to successfully assess any and all situations that could lead to awkward tension. Utilize both the chart, the song, and the breakdown of the chart to your advantage in order to keep awkwardness at bay.

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Lyrics to "Holding Doors"

Everyday

No matter who you are

Or where you’re going

There’s always something in your way

(Verse)

Used to be

Chivalrous/now an obli-friggin-gation

Holding doors leads to awkward situations

Depending on the other persons vicinity

Determines how fast you walk at a given speed

You can slow up/and they’ll hold it fa-yew

But if you both approach/you don’t know what to do

Don’t look back/…. no remorse

When you let it go or close the doors

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but what do you do when it comes to chicks

Don’t hold the door if they’re under a six

Sad/but true/Unless they’re old

You’ll be waiting forever kuz they’re extra slow

If the person is holding something….you can

Hold the door/if it requires two hands

If I don’t hold the door for ya/don’t be mad at me

Kuz I prefer doors that open Automatically

Really…I mean

Why don’t they have automatic doors in every building?

Wouldn’t it make life so much easier for everyone?

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What about when

there’s double doors

and you hold one door

and the person u hold it for goes out the other door?

hahahha

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that’s funny to me

but what’s even funnier

is they’re walking parallel to the door

and you go out of your way to hold it

and they aren’t even going in the same building as you

hahaha

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I could go on and on

but i won't 

Stranger Tango

As we all know, humans tend to walk closely and create intersecting paths in tight spaces.

When a lack of non-verbal communication occurs, the result is a back-and-forth ‘tango’ with someone who doesn’t know which way to go around you.

We can all relate to the awkwardness of this incident, hence i have created a song to illustrate this situation.

These are the lyrics to the song that you can hear through the Soundclick widget above.
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(Intro)
Okay,
Have you ever been walking in a crowded place


And someone’s walking toward you


And as you attempt to pass them
they go the same way….


(Verse)
This can happen when you walk the halls
Or navigate your way through the shopping malls


You tryda get around the approachin folks
But you don’t know which way you’re supposed to go


They shuffle right/you shift left
Back and forth face off/it’s a mess


Can’t figure out which Way you Can go
This is what I call a Stranger Tango


(Hook)
You move and THEY MOVE//and
You move and THEY MOVE//ain’t
Nothing you CAIN Do
Except the Stranger Tango


You move and THEY MOVE
You move and THEY MOVE
Ain’t nothing can SAVE YOU
FROM the Stranger Tango


(Outro)
You shuffle left
They shift to the right//and then


You shuffle to the right
They shift to the left//and then


You shuffle left
They shift to the right//and then


You shuffle to the right
They shift to the left//and then


You’ve done the Stranger Tango

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This chart indicates the appropriate reactions against the number of back and forth shuffles (or waddles).

So basically, if you waddle once or twice: the appropriate reaction is saying ‘Uh….Uh…UH’

Two – four waddles: “Sorry” My Bad” “Excuse Me”

Now, if you waddle more than four times, cooperation and diplomacy are needed in order to get past this person.

Four – Six waddles: “No, YOU first”

If you waddle more than six times, you’re likely both frustrate at how long this nonsense has gone on for. At that point, it’s acceptable to give them a LIGHT nudge with the outside of your hand.

God forbid you waddle eight or more times but if that rare, awkward and embarrassing situation occurs, it’s acceptable to just shove the person out of your way with the inside of your hand.

In no way am I encouraging violence, but simply illustrating the fact that overreacting to a simple situation, such as the Stranger Tango, can cause a worse situation to arise.

For Example: If you shove someone after two waddles, you’re severely exaggerating the seriousness of the situation.

Let this chart be a reminder for how to react and let the song be a theme to remember the next time you have an awkward face off with a stranger in the halls, the mall, the airport, or anywhere with a large concentration of fast pace walking humans.